Warning, I'm complaining...
This is the second year in a row that Megan has been in charge of Mormon Prom. She thought she had handed it off last year to a very capable individual... maybe I should start at the beginning. This is how I understand it. Three years ago Ed came up with the idea to have a prom where music, dance, and dress standards would create an environment he and his friends (mostly members of the church) would want to be in. He asked for permission, gathered a committee and put together the first Mormon Prom in the area. It was a hit. It was handed over to Megan last year. Well, last year various stakes felt there wasn't enough adults involved in the process, so now there had to be an adult rep from every stake - eleven of them. But in the end, it was youth run with an adult "advisor" and a member of our stake presidency informed on all decission... We love President Patterson! What a huge success. The kids on the committee worked so hard and were so thrilled with the outcome. Those that attended absolutely loved it.
Which brings us to this year. The prom is tomorrow. But let's back up again. Megan had handed the prom off last year with the thought that different people/stakes could head it up. Everyone agreed. Then a couple months later we heard that a different stake was doing it... then we heard that a different person was in charge... and then another stake change. This wasn't the youth changing it, it was stake leaders. Then Megan got a call and they wanted her to do it again. She was already wondering why the stakes were pulling the ropes and not a youth committee like how it was set up before. There was an adult committee created with a youth to help. When the youth missed a meeting the adults would make changes. Bottomline, the adults took over. Despite Megan going with an agenda, making assignments, evaluating, etc. she was repeatedly overruled with the adults telling them "you can't do that" , "that will never work", "that will take too long", "you can't do it outside"... and on and on. Every idea the youth had was shot down. Okay, not every... But Megan has felt so ripped apart and unsupported. She hates Mormon Prom this year.
Why can't we have a youth run activity? Isn't that what we want to do? I know that's what the youth want. Allow them to come up with an idea and conquer every aspect of it. Learning as they go. Allowing them to succeed or fail. Yes with guidelines and boundries, but not dictating their every move. Youth want to succeed! Why do some adults feel the need to control and make youth conform. What a disservice.
Okay, now that was a rant! I can just feel for Megan and the youth on the committee that feel like puppets instead of instruments. No fun!
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5 comments:
That is very sad.
On my robotics team way back in High School (man I feel old.. :) everything was student run. And while we didn't always have a robot that was as good as some of the "mentor" run teams, we still had more fun than doing it any other way.
I guess it's also interesting to note that "real" proms (at least at my school) are completely student planned and run. But the thing to that is that they are all advised by teachers, whose job it is to only give gentle pushes here an there to help students succeed.
Not everyone possesses this skill, or understands it's importance in helping young people grow. But nobody's perfect.
You are a great mom. I agree, 'what is so wrong with letting others learn?' How do they think they learned? Did the adults in their life 'puppeteer' them too and they are just passing along what they know bc they were not challenged to be creative and independent of conformity? What is wrong with them? I hope Megan has fun tonight despite the disappointments. I am sure she will
So...here I am reading this and all I can think is that I would totally hang them up by their toes and use them as Pinatas! Obivousily it worked last year so why not let the youth do it again this year?! Yes, I am bothered and its been a bad day but, I think somebody has some serious control issues!
Hhmmm. I have a lot to say about this. Do you remember that e-mail I sent you a while back about a struggle I was having with my YW? I think this was exactly the issue. I wanted to control too much of what they were doing because it didn't make much sense to me (in my case it was a Spook Alley for the ward Halloween party). Oh how right you are that I should have sat back and let them do it their way! Everyone would have been more happy in the end.
Lesson learned on my end. I hope Megan had a good time after all of her struggles. Those grown ups...I tell ya!
I just found your blog (linked from others)! How fun to see how you are doing. Just wanted to say hi and let you know that I was reading!
-Allison (used to be Smith)
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